2004 Games Highlights - Celebrities

The man on the phone had said the words a sick and disconsolate Keith Fahnhorst had longed for months to hear: "I want to give you one of my kidneys."

Yet, when the man finished making his offer and the conversation had ended, the former University of Minnesota lineman and 14-year NFL veteran did what any rational person would: He called back and said, "This isn't a prank, is it?"

Fahnhorst knew it wasn't, but who could blame him for wanting to be reassured? And who could blame him for thanking the man one more time?

When a healthy, vibrant man of 36 with a wife and a two-year-old boy volunteers to make a sacrifice to someone he met only once, there is a profound sense of disbelief and appreciation.

The world is supposed to be too cold and callous for such selfless acts. Yet Apham, the donor, demanded only one thing: He did not want his last name disclosed. This story, he insists, should not be about him.

"I knew Apham meant what he had said when he first called, because nobody is going to kid about something like that," Fahnhorst, 51, said Saturday from his hospital bed. "But I had to call him back because I had to thank him again. But how do you really thank somebody who is willing to do this for you? There are no words that do the job."

On Thursday morning, Dr. John Najarian and a team of surgeons replaced one of Fahnhorst's damaged kidneys with one from Apham.

By the end of the day, the pallor that had taken over Fahnhorst's face was gone. The bone-chilling cold he had endured, another symptom of kidney disease, had left as well. The donor, though in pain, says he has never felt so whole.

And on Thursday night, an exhausted Sue Fahnhorst, Keith's wife of 28 years, slept soundly "after a year of not sleeping at all. It was almost continuous depression."

Her husband had known for years he was suffering from the disease, yet it was only in the past couple of years that his condition had worsened to the point where he was going to need dialysis soon without a donor.

Keith and Apham had met at a Bible study group in the Twin Cities. Keith, remember, played for the San Francisco 49ers for 14 years and was a member of two Super Bowl winners during the '80s. He now works for Piper Jaffray.

"We sat across from each other and I couldn't stop staring at his Super Bowl ring," Apham remembered. "He told me I could put it on. I told him I was a Raiders fan, but I would let that go for the moment."

Apham, who had grown up in Enugu, Nigeria, had been a huge pro football fan. A newscaster by trade, he came to the United States 10 years ago because he was frustrated by the censorship he faced in Nigeria. In the United States, he eventually settled into a sales job for ADC in the Twin Cities, where he met his wife, Janel.

When Fahnhorst did not appear at a later group session, Apham asked why and was told that Fahnhorst's condition was worsening and that he would need a new kidney. On his own, Apham started making calls to see whether he might qualify as a donor.

[NKF Ed Note: Apham points out that all the members of the Bible study group went to be tested.]

"The amazing thing is that I used to have big arguments with my wife about organ donation," Apham said. "I was very much against it on religious grounds. I felt as if when God calls you, you go with everything you have. Yet one day I met a man who I accompanied to a Twins game who had a huge impact on me. He was a Jewish man with seven kids, and he was talking about how he also volunteered to work for an ambulance [service] a couple days a week.

"I said: 'How do you find time in this day and age to raise seven kids and still do this extra work?' And he said something I'll never forget. He said it was important for his kids to see that he lived for other people, not just for himself. I said to myself, 'Wow. That is powerful.' "

Apham was inspired to continue the process of clearing the medical hurdles that could make him a match. The Fahnhorst family, meanwhile, knew none of this. In fact, they were getting discouraged. In December, they had received a phone call from doctors who said they thought they had a match.

The Fahnhorsts rushed to the hospital so Keith could be prepared for surgery. About 17 hours later, he was still waiting. It turned out doctors were concerned that the kidney was not healthy enough. "It was the lowest point for me," Keith said.

Because his condition was considered genetic, a family donation was unlikely.

On February 17, during a business trip to Indianapolis, Keith got the phone call from Apham, who was suffering himself. He had been laid off. Yet instead of looking upon that as a negative, he concluded he would now have extra time to recover from surgery.

"What do you say to someone who will do this for you?" Keith said. "This has been so humbling."

Apham's wife called it "a gift from God."

"That my husband, a man who was once against organ donation, would make this kind of decision, well, I know he believes all the credit should go to God," she said.

After the first phone call, the two families went out to dinner. "You start worrying about whether you're going to say something wrong that will make him change his mind," Sue said. "You worry about the silliest things. Like telling each other, 'Don't swear. Don't do this or that.' Yet after just five minutes together, we hit it off so well we knew. We left that restaurant holding hands and crying."

Yet, while the surgery was taking place, Sue found herself worrying as much about the donor as the recipient. "As I sat with Janel, I started thinking about this wonderful family with their two-year-old boy, Zeke, and I thought, 'What if something goes wrong for Apham, this man who is doing this wonderful thing and has so much living to do?’…and I started thinking that I didn't know how we could have lived with that situation."

Yet both patients came out of their operations in good shape. Already, Apham has traveled down one hospital floor to visit Keith in his room.

"I'll tell you the best moment for me," Sue said. "We were in the hospital Friday and Keith's blanket was down just around his waist. I was worried he was cold, just like he used to be. I said, 'Do you want me to get you another blanket?' He said, 'No, actually I'm warm.' And we looked at each other at the same time, shook our fists and said, 'Yes!'"

Sue said her appreciation for Najarian and his staff knows no bounds. She also was warmed by her husband's other friends who underwent tests to see whether they were matches. But the Fahnhorsts want to thank one man most of all.

"All my life, I've believed in angels," Sue said. "but now our angel has a face."

All photos, unless otherwise noted, courtesy of the National Kidney Foundation, Jay LaPrete, Mark Serota, Eric Miller and Jason Arnold.
© 2009 National Kidney Foundation
Having technical problems? Contact the Webmaster
Search | Contact Us | NKF Homepage