Radio Host Keeps Late Wife’s Memory Alive Through Her Kidney Disease Story

When radio host JJ and his late wife Michelle packed up their lives for an exciting move from Virginia to Wichita, Kansas, they were ready to start a new chapter. They had hopes of building a new life full of simple joys—gatherings with friends, traveling, working hard, and dreaming about the future.

But kidney disease had a different plan.

• The Doctor's Visit That Changed Everything
• Facing Dialysis
• A Second Chance Through a Living Donor
• Celebrating Life After Transplant
• Facing Health Challenges Head-On
• Sharing Michelle's Story and Saving Lives
• Looking for Support?

In 2015, just a year after their move, Michelle came down with the flu.

"I took her to the doctor. She did have the flu, but her kidneys were also only functioning at 17%," JJ said. "We were blindsided. We didn't even know what kidney disease was. In a moment, our entire world changed."

The couple was stunned. Michelle had type 2 diabetes, but they hadn't realized how much damage it had caused.

"We neglected her diabetes. If we had asked the right questions or gone to the doctor more often, things might have been different," he admitted. "But I also feel they should have explained to us more clearly just how important kidney function really is."

Determined to learn everything he could about kidney disease, JJ turned to the National Kidney Foundation (NKF).

"I immediately reached out to NKF," he said. "I knew knowledge was power. NKF gave us resources, support, and fellowship. We didn't feel so alone anymore."

Are you at risk of kidney disease? Take our one-minute quiz to find out. 

Since Michelle's kidney function was so low, it was only a matter of time before she would need dialysis or a transplant.

"She'd need a new kidney or dialysis around 10% function," said JJ. "We moved quickly to get her set up for peritoneal dialysis (PD)."

By October 2015, Michelle had completed the long list of medical tests required to get on the transplant list. She also began PD training.

But adjusting to home dialysis wasn't easy.

"When the first semi-truck backed into our cul-de-sac and started unloading pallets of dialysis fluid, our brand-new home started to feel like a medical ward," JJ said.

Michelle also had a hard time adjusting to treatment. At one point, she contemplated stopping dialysis altogether.

"Her doctor told her she could stop," JJ said. "But she'd pass away two or three weeks later." 

That honesty gave Michelle the motivation she needed to push through. With time, she was able to find a rhythm with dialysis.

Take our quiz to learn if home dialysis is right for you.

JJ continued to work while also caring for Michelle. One day, he met with a listener to give her the tickets she won on his radio show.

"I shared our journey with kidney disease with her," JJ said. "After hearing our story, she went home, prayed, and decided to get tested as a donor."

That listener, Cindy Glazier, turned out to be a perfect match.

"Cindy was a godsend," JJ said. "Surgery and recovery went well for her. It was harder for Michelle."

The day after surgery, Michelle had a severe allergic reaction to her anti-rejection medications.

"She coded twice. Thankfully, she recovered. It was scary, but that bump in the road was the biggest hurdle," JJ said. "A couple of weeks later, she came home."

NKF is here for you, whether you need a kidney or are considering donating one. Watch videos made by recipients and donors to learn more. 

Right before Michelle started dialysis, she and JJ went to see a Tim McGraw concert at Red Rocks.

"When he sang 'Live Like You Were Dying', the world seemed to fall away," JJ said. "We just held each other. We knew hard times were coming, but we were determined to face them together."

A month after the transplant, Tim McGraw came back to town. Michelle insisted that it be her first big outing after her surgery.

"We got backstage passes to meet Tim and his wife, Faith. We told them about the Red Rocks concert, the transplant, and how much his music meant to us. We all hugged. It was so special to see the human side of someone like Tim McGraw."

Michelle was determined to continue living life to the fullest. She took JJ to her childhood home in Wisconsin, where she shared stories of growing up. They went to Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park in Maine for a second time, celebrating in style at the Bar Harbor Inn.

"Those trips were the best," JJ said. "We didn't just go. We did it right. That made the memories even more special."

While the transplant gave Michelle her life back, she had other health challenges unconnected to her kidney disease. One of the toughest was hidradenitis, a painful disease that causes sores, boils, and lesions in sensitive areas of the body.

“Worst case for many people with hidradenitis is a cyst or a boil the size of a golf ball,” JJ said. “Michelle got them in her breasts the size of a baseball.”

After doing her research and talking to doctors, Michelle learned the best course of action was a double mastectomy.

"After years of fighting hidradenitis, she made the difficult choice to get the mastectomy," JJ said. "Unfortunately, this was right in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic."

They knew Michelle’s chances of survival were low if she caught COVID-19. But she needed to improve her quality of life.

"She got the surgery. The day Michelle was supposed to come home, I got the call I feared," JJ said. "She had COVID-19."

Michelle's condition worsened quickly. Diagnosed on a Sunday, she was on a ventilator by Wednesday at noon. Doctors told JJ none of their COVID-19 patients had come off the ventilator after going on it.

But against all odds, she did.

"She became the first person to come off the ventilator at St. Francis," JJ said. "Months later, staff told me how much it meant to them. Her recovery gave them the second wind they needed."

Michelle spent 30 days in the hospital before finally coming home in late September. For a little while, life felt normal again.

"Then, on October 9th, she had a massive heart attack in bed next to me," JJ said. "I called 911 and did CPR until the paramedics arrived."

The ambulance got Michelle to the hospital quickly, but it was too late.

"When the doctor walked toward me, I knew she was gone," JJ said. "You see that scene on TV all the time, but it's nothing like when it happens to you."

Later, JJ spread Michelle's ashes at Bar Harbor, where they had their unforgettable vacation. 

JJ carries Michelle's memory with him everywhere he goes.

"I've always believed people suffer two deaths," he said. "One is the physical death. The second is when you stop saying their name and telling their story. That's why I keep sharing Michelle's."

For JJ, advocacy is both healing and purposeful. He supports NKF through Kidney Walk, galas, and speaking events, using every opportunity to raise awareness about kidney health and the power of living donation.

"Sharing Michelle's story keeps her alive," JJ said. "It reminds people to ask questions, to take care of their health, and to never miss the moments that matter most."

Those lessons came from Michelle.

"She taught me a lot," JJ said. "The two biggest takeaways? Don't be afraid to ask for help. And don't be afraid to ask questions when it comes to your health."

Donate to JJ's NKF memorial fundraiser or create your own.

Call NKF Cares at 855.653.2273 to speak with a trained specialist to get answers to questions.